SLAM GETS SENTIMENTAL

Snow, snow, snow EVERYWHERE!! It has snowed like basically every day. Yesterday I had to shovel the path to the house twice. I am not sure how much snow we have exactly, but to give you an idea I can only see the very top of the handlebars on my son’s bike. I actually think that it is pretty awesome. We have not had much snow the past couple of years so it is nice to have snow taking over. It also helps that our friend is plowing our driveway for us. In previous years we were too poor to afford plowing all the time so we would get stuck in the driveway 24/7. At nighttime Gideon and I go sledding on this cool path we made that goes from the side of the house to the back. It is downhill and all twisty and turny. I take my round sled and start going down backwards and twirl all around. It is a blast. Christmas will soon be here and I look forward to it. When I was younger I use to dread Christmas because I was in California and my family was in Maine. Christmas alone sucks. Although, I did have a blast the year I went to Tahoe with Nicole and chilled with her fam. That was a friggin’ blast. That year I was working for FAO Schwartz and I gave her brother a huge stuffed teddy bear about as big as him, and an oversized bouncy Balzac Ball. Now that was definitely a white Christmas filled with elves dancing in the street. Anywho, this Christmas will be quite a different one. My son is now old enough to get super excited about presents. He tears through them like crazy. I like presents too, so I bought myself one just in case I don’t get anything good. I ordered this sweet ass jacket thingy from this store called Dog Funk. If you haven’t been there before check out the website: http://www.dogfunk.com/. Killer skate and snowboard gear. So, my friends, I will leave you with my Christmas present to you. These are the lyrics to the new title of my blog. You didn't think I made up that brilliance on my own did you? The group is The Blow and the song is Come On Petunia. I love these guys.

Every little thing she does is magic. every thing she does just turns me on. even though my life before was tragic, now i know my love for her goes on."come on petunia", you thought in your head, "it would all be so easy if you could be led to the cave where i hide you in linens and frames, and in new combinations i've made of our names. it's a tiny hole, yeah, but you'd fit if i sliced you up wee itty bitty, i'd sliver and splice you and then you could be many, and i'd be the one who was privy to love you and show you the fun."Jamie stood on his stoop, and he challenged his homies to go get some girlfriends and locate their yonis. the waters were parting and times getting heated. the boys needed friendship, the beat needed meeted. unh unh. her dress was a ship at sail. unh. her knees were the water pail. this was survival and she was the kit. you could die of thirst if the girls won't give you sips.You're all jenny and lindsey and fine and i'm underwater, shedding my mind. and i'm pretty sure baby if you'd hold my head i could live like i've wished for and undo my dread, because, i see candygrams up in the ceiling tiles, witty postcards sent off from the sandwich isles. in these towns where vacations will lead us, i'll hold out my treasures and their wealth will feed us. but, oh, she does as she wishes, and no, she won't be your missus. you kingdom it widens and you're there alone with all that love, and the void on your throne.

WINTER BLUES

It is not even Winter yet and I already have the blues. I feel like I've been cut off from society ever since I started working from home. This 2 month break from Derby is killing me. I am about to become one with my chair since my butt has not moved in days. For those of you without children: Enjoy it while you can. You will never have time to yourself again. At least not until your child starts school anyway. I miss getting drunk during the day and wishing I had something to do. I miss burning the Thanksgiving Turkey because my friends and I were so high we forgot about it. Don't get me wrong, I LOOOOOVE being a Mom, it is the most awesome gift I have ever been given. I am just saying, enjoy your freedom now my friends. I wish I could afford a Nannie. I would be like, "I'm going shopping now Nannie, see you in two hours" or "We're going out with our friends Nannie, see you in the morning". All the Moms feel me on this, I know it. For some reason we ended up with parents who never want to babysit. DAMMIT!!

At least we actually have snow outside this year. It will be a white Christmas after all. I hate it when it's cold but there is no snow. What a drag. Well my friends, I have to get to my crappy job. LOVE YOU ALL AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS......yada, yada, yada.

LOOK WHAT I CAN DO..BE AN IDIOT..

GOOD TIMES......

Hello My Friends,

I am sooooo sorry that I have not posted in forever. Both of my boys had birthdays and I have been busy with that stuff. In case ya'll wonder why I hardly talk about my fam, it's because I don't want Web psychos knowing shit about them. That means you!! Just kidding. But for realz. Anyone can access this so I'd rather email those updates and pics. But don't worry, I have PLENTY to talk about.

I went to a Halloween party at my girl Hannah's house and it was a blast. I hadn't been to a really killer house party in a minute. I ran into some folks I hadn't seen in a while and met some new crazy people. Above is a pic of these two loced out dudes. One looks like Reno 911 short shorts guy and the other looks like a white ODB. Who the hell knows. Guys were hitting on me all night even though I repeatedly mentioned by Husband in conversation. It was kinda cool to know I still got it but you know, I'm a good wifey.

For the Hubby's B-Day we went to Boston to see the Wicked Pissas' Derby Girls play. My team rented a bus nicknamed "the drunk bus" because we could drink on it. DUH!! The bus left at 3:30pm and after that all hell broke loose. Everyone was drinking before we even left the lot. By the time we got to Boston I was drunk and didn't even know it. I have to say I felt like a teenager skipping school. I was so friggin excited. Mom Bomb had a minnie keg, Punchy had a bottle of McGillicuties, A-Block had a huge Dunkin Donuts cup filled with Vodka, and I had champagne. Somehow I ended up the most wasted of everyone and ended up rolling on the floor. Mom Bomb had to tell Gideon to take me outside because I almost knocked over the DJ's turntables at the afterparty. After that I sent myself to the drunk bus because I that's were I belonged. It's all good though because I really did have so much fun!! I know it seems like I must party a lot but really, I don't usually, at least not now anyway. We have a two month break from Roller Derby and I think I have a little bit of steam to blow off. Come January I'm gonna have to simma down and start skating my ass off again. Anyone who knows me knows how I do.

I love you all!!

PEOPLE I LOVE

An ode to my darling Buttersnatch Sundae. You really have no idea how much I love you and how much I am going to miss you. I HATE that I always have to say goodbye to the people I love the most. Buttersnatch, I hope you know how completely awesome you are. You friggin' crack me up. I absolutely adore you quirky ways and wish I could keep you all to myself. I want you to know how much I appreciate all of your support. You have been there for me since the first day I joined MRD. Remember the day I was crying because I sucked so bad and you told me that you were there for me if I needed you? I wish I had taken you up on that offer now. I feel regret that we did not get to become closer. You know you never really appreciate people, places or whatever, until they're gone. I hope that your future is all you hope for. I hope to see your name in lights one day and tell my friends "I totally know her". Promise me you will keep in touch and tell me a story about you life. I love you derby SISTA.

XOXOXO
SLAM

SWITCHBLADE SISTERS REVIEW

If you have not seen this movie you are seriously missing out. I saw it a long time ago. I don't remember who I watched it with or when, although I'm assuming it was probably one of my gay friends since they would appreciate it the most. This friggin' movie is one of the most hilarious, campy, totally kick ass girl movies ever. It was directed by Jack Hill who, for those who do not know, is one of Quentin Tarantino's inspirations, and also director of such classics as Foxy Brown. The movie was originally released in 1975 and then re-released in 1996 by Quentin's Rolling Thunder Pictures.

The movie starts out with our protagonist, Lace, and her all girl gang, The Dagger Debs, attacking the Repo Man in an elevator after he tries to take Lace's Mom's TV. The movie continues in much the same fashion with lots of killer knife fights and lesbian juvie guards. The acting is absolutely to die for. Lace, played by Robbie Lee, is the Innocent faced bad girl. Every word she speaks is through clutched teeth and spit out with disdain. All the players overact so much that the comedic value would be lost by few. I was surprised to realize that one of the guys from the guy gang, The Silver Daggers, plays Donna's Dad on That 70's Show. He didn't even have a fro and looked aight back then. This 70's style of gang bangers and and Black Panther wannabes totally captures something that movies today have lost. Everyone takes themselves so seriously now, albeit, Tarantino has tried to re-capture this black humor in films such a Reservoir Dogs and Jackie Brown.

Look, the bottom line is this, I am not a friggin' movie reviewer but this film will stay with you. So you better watch it or I'll shank your ass. Ok, I don't even really know what that means but you get the point.

"So easy to kill, so hard to love." -The Switchblade Sisters

MY BRUISED BUM

Oh my, oh my, my bum diddly bum. I was at our last bout hanging outside with Maulie McKillem and she was telling me about a bruise she had on her butt. Like an idiot, I say, "I haven't had a butt bruise in a while. I think my butt must have calloused up". Then, of course, the very same day I fall flat on my ass while skating around like a mad woman selling raffle tickets. I didn't really realize how bad it was until I decided to take a peak. OMG!!! This friggin' bruise takes up my entire right butt cheek. I have never seen anything like it in my life. And it hurts so much. I have to sit at a desk all day for work and I just don't know what to do with the butt cheek. I readjust the pillow, move my butt around, change positions, cry....This was a week ago and it still kills. I think Maulie put a curse on me. Damn her.

In more exciting news, I finally got my new skates and I LOVE THE SHIT OUTTA THEM!!! You have no idea. I almost kissed the UPS guy when he showed up. I did kiss my skates though, And so did Slamito. He cried when I tried to take them away from him. When I gave him my old skates to play with he was totally not interested. Who can blame him? Right before I got my new fabulous skates, I was skating at the crappy Westbrook outdoor rink and my friggin' truck just popped right out of my skate. I could not believe it. I was like, this is just not supposed to happen. GEEZ!!

Well, I am out. Just so ya know, that is not my butt up there. I took a picture with my cell phone but can't figure out how to upload pics. But that is what mine looks like but worse. Until next time. VLS XOXOXO

PEOPLE I LOVE & A LITTLE HUMOR

This shout out goes to my homegirl "BEKKA THE SUPASTAR". Your time has come. If you ever should meet Bekka run really fast. She is a homewrecker and a super SLUT!! Just kidding (maybe). Bekka claims to be my BFF but then doesn't even decorate my cubicle for my birthday. WTF!! I still love you though. The reasons why
I love BEKKA are:

she's funny
she's crazy
she makes awesome sweet stuff
she's rad!!
she knows what's up (wink, wink)
she's got mad skillz

In other Bekka news we have a little something special from her Mom. Now I have not met the woman, although I have heard many stories. Anywho, Bekka's Mom has left her in charge of the trailer while she is out of town and left the following to do (and not to do) list for her:

Rebecca:
Here's a list of chores to do!!!!
1. turn my mattress over --- my bed will be stripped.
2. make sure small window is opened when showering.
3. dry your own towels.
4. wash and dry all your dishes .
5. rake leaves or use the leaf blower.
6. make sure the cats have cleaned water in their container in bathroom.
the water must come from the water bottles.
7. make sure you feed them and tend to their needs.
8. please get daily paper out of the paper box.
9. pick up mail on friday and saturday.
10. keep my mobile home in good order.

Also, a delivery of shingles and supplies will be coming on friday. They are going to put near the trailer.
No wild parties. I assumed your boyfriend would be over. It is okay except for sex in my mobile home. Mom

PEOPLE I LOVE

Mama Mia!!! I cannot believe you are leaving me. You know it's all about me? You were my first real derby friend. During my times of self doubt and frustration you were there for me and you pushed me. I seriously do not think I could have come this far without you. I know Chantel, Tink and I will probably miss you the most. I promise to be good to your derby wife since she is all alone now.
You are such an amazing person and so different from anyone I've ever met. Your hubby is lucky to have you and I'm sure you're lucky to have him too. I know living the military life can be hard on a person. My brother and his family struggle with it too. My hope is that the NC Rogue Roller Girls accept you with open arms and you became a wicked famous skater and one day I get to Bout against you and you hit me so hard you knock me out and then we go out and get really drunk!!! F-in right!! I will leave it at that. No good-byes, just see ya later.

NEW SKATES, NEW SKATES, NEW SKATES

Yes, it's true, Slam has finally ordered new skates. YIPEE!!! My skates I have now are so wrecked. I bought them when I first started skating and they were the cheapest pair I could find. Oh my beloved Boxers, what a love hate relationship we have had. First you didn't fit because you only came in full sizes and I'm a half size. So I stuffed the right skate with tissue paper and wore extra socks. Then the crappy wheels you came with made me slide all over the place. And then came Westbrook, and you tried so hard but you were no competition for the asphalt and broken glass. Neither was I for that matter. Then a funny thing happened, I became attached to you. You are like my favorite pair of sneakers. Even though you are old, ugly and beat up, you are comfortable and we've been through so much together. Don't worry, when my new skates come I will not throw you out into the cold. We will still be friends and I will look upon you with fondness. I will even use you from time to time when I don't want to ruin my new skates. With that said, I await my shiny new Riedell Vandals.

MUST KICK BUTT!! ALL RIGHT!

As we all can see the posting everyday thing has gone out the window. Please don't hate me. I have been so busy. We had another bout at the Expo this weekend and this time we played PVRD. These girls were so friggin' awesome. I picked up Andy Nihialate, one of the team's jammers, the night before at Geno's. Her boyfriend's band the Prozacs were playing there. Andy and I got along like we had known eachother forever. I guess having sons the same age helps. Nevan automatically liked her and she was so awesome with him. I wish she lived here. She was so cute when she was skating. Every time she fell she would pull her skirt down before starting to skate again. Andy really is a great jammer. Obviously, MRD has amazing jammers too. You all know who you are. We won again this time and the crowd loved it.

OMG!! So we have assessments again today and I swear to God I am freaking out. I always get like this on assessment day. My palms are sweaty, my heart is pounding and I have massive butterflies in my stomach. AHHH!!! Skating is so important to me and I really want to move up. I hate not playing. I am such an overachiever sometimes that I live on other people's validation of my achievements, and when I don't get it I get sooo devastated. Yes, I am a headcase. So my friends, cross your fingers for me and wish me luck.

XOXO

~SLAM

JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY

Well here it is, another Monday, and your protagonist is hard at work from home. YEAH!! I finally got all set up to work from home and it is going well. The weekend was a blast too. Melissa had a potluck at her house and everyone brought so much friggin' food. It was crazy and yummy. I'm still eating leftovers. We got pretty wasted and headed over to this bar on Munjoy Hill that used to be Bottomz Up. My husband and I use to go there all the time back in the day and then they closed down because people kept getting stabbed and shit. I'm not kidding either. So now it's this totally swanky bar, and of course I forgot what it's called. We had a killer time, and it was me, Ja, Melis, and Gretchen, just like old times. We stayed up pretty late just blabbing and talking about sex and all that good stuff. Ja has it all on videotape and I'm pretty scared about that. At the time it was hysterical to watch ourselves and the retarded things we said, but now, I'm not so sure. Woke up Sunday thinking I would want to die but actually it ended up being an awesome day. Nevan and I hung outside with Gideon while he built a fence. Nevan was so friggin' cute. I brought all of his tools outside so that he could work with Daddy and he was hammering away. What a riot! God, the day was just too beautiful. We were having so much fun I ditched derby practice and we all went for our own workout. I strapped on my skates, put Nevan in the stroller and Gideon jogged next to us. There are all of these crazy developments around, so we just drove to the closest one and cruised all over. It was so much fun. I like to skate at practice but I also love just skating outside without doing any drills or feeling like I might throw up. So after that we made our way home and ate pizza!! I'm so hungry right now. I should stop talking about food. So my chicas and homeys, talk to you soon. P Out.

Letter to the President

So I heard this song for the first time today on the radio today. I didn't know who it was by and then realized it was Rustic Overtones. For those of you who don't know, Rustic Overtones is a group from Maine, that enjoyed much success and recently reunited. So I hear this song on my way to work and by the time I get to work I swear I am in tears. If you want to see the lyrics here is the link. The song is another ode to the President to bring our troops home. It starts out with a soldier from the 82nd Airborne division talking about his family and how he hopes to see them one day. I do not know if this soldier is fictitious or based on a true person. After doing some research on the Internet I found an interesting article, written by members of the The 82nd Airborne Division, in the NY Times. The article is titled The War as We Saw It and it goes on to criticize our mission in Iraq and outline it's complexities and failures. Ultimately these brave soldiers end by stating that the only way to end this is to withdraw from Iraq, for the sake of the Iraqis. I have held a special interest in Iraq for quite some time now and have a website dedicated to Iraq prior to our invasion. Even then they were suffering at our hands. I could go on and on about all of the reasons we should not be in Iraq but we all know these already. It is useless and depressing to beat this dead horse. I just don't understand why we are supposedly defending the US and yet Osama (who was trained by the US, in the US) is still at large and so many of our soldiers are dead. God, to think of all the children who will grow up never knowing there parents, all the families split up and destroyed, for what? Bush and his ulterior motives. He thinks we are stupid and apparently we are because not only did we elect him once, but we elected him again. What the F@%* is wrong with this country? People living on fear. That is what he counted on anyway, and it worked. Do we not realize that this is how people live in so many countries? Sudan, Sierra Leon, Palestine, Croatia, Serbia, and the list goes on. We do not live in a bubble. When you piss people of they retaliate. Well guess what people, we have pissed off plenty of people and the Islamic Extremists are just the beginning. War will not solve our problems, diplomacy will. But what does George Bush know of diplomacy or Foreign Relations? He is probably one of those people who thinks Africa is a country. Or that they speak Mexican in Mexico. Is ignorance really bliss? Well my friends, I did not intend on going on such a tirade, and believe me I could go on longer. I guess I just have to sigh and wait until 2009. I swear to God, if we get another friggin' Republican in office I will have to disown all of the Republicans in my family. Hopefully my Mom forgets to remind my Dad about his absentee ballot again. HAHAHAHA!!

VIVA LA MAINE ROLLER DERBY

disclaimer: The above photo is not from the Sept. 8th bout.

Our first Bout at the Expo went better than any of us could have expected. I think the best part was the actual game itself. The Hudson Valley Horrors definitely gave MRD a run for our money. I was on the sidelines totally captivated by my teammates and their prowess. I seriously don't even know were to begin, and anyone who does not really know the rules of Derby may be confused.

Our jammers (point scorers) totally rocked the spot. Olive Spankins, JonesN, Breezy and Killer Quick were absolutely amazing. They seriously skated their hearts out. And let me tell you, HVH ain't no joke, they were out for blood. So many times I thought they would damage our little Unicorn Olive but she weaved in and out with ease. They all made it look so easy. I have to give it up for our blockers too. The Mom Bomb took out one of HVH's jammers with a killer hit, sending her flying off the track. I was also very impressed by Olive's blocking skills. Olive, who usually Jams, pretty much single handedly blocked one of HVH's jammers. Her legs seemed to go all the way across the track.

The most interesting thing to see in action was the WFTDA (Woman's Flat Track Derby Association) rules played out on the track. One jam we had to skate without a jammer because she was not in formation in time. I almost cried as the opposing jammer skated around and around scoring points. Another thing I saw for the first time was the "passing of the star". The passing of the star is when the jammer decides to pass her helmet cover to her pivot, while skating. The pivot then assumes the role of jammer. I am not sure why she did this, but it was cool to see, nonetheless. Hudson Valley had some really great jammers too. I wish I could remember their names, but alas I don't.

Maine Roller Derby made history by winning the game 115 to 90. This Bout had all the great aspects of Roller Derby; action, drama, suspense, and most importantly, bleachers full of fans.

VIVA LA MRD!!!!

PEOPLE I LOVE

NICOLE

There are no words to express the love I have for my friend Nicole (and no I'm not talking about myself). I swear we were separated at birth or something. I have never had a friend that I was so totally in tune with. We even pee at the same time. I know, all girls do, but she is the only girl who pees as much as I do. Nicole and I have been separated for 9 years now. It sucks, sucks, sucks. We use to drink Franzia from the box and watch 90210, and that was all we needed to make us happy.

It was Roberta, from Panama, who brought us together, but once the Nicole's were squared Roberta could not handle the bond. She tried to split us up and when that didn't work she tried to kill us. Well, not really kill us, but she stalked us and made our lives miserable. Finally the Nicole's put an end to her antics by throwing her stereo out the window and changing the locks. She did still make an appearance from time to time, that is until the Slashets beat her ass. HAHAHAHA!! This is Frisco BITCH!! I will always hold that moment close to my heart. Anyway, I digress. So Nicole, here goes:

DO YOU REMEMBER?

-Hinka (not as good without the face).

-"I'm gettin' outta here as fast as I can", as Cyrus climbs out the window.

-Throwing punches at the "hip hop" party, poor Dan.

-Raving with the statues in LA

-Screaming in the rain on Haight St. while carrying a bed we found on the street

-Letting your pants fall down as we walked down Market St.

-Me crying when I saw you and Gary for the first time in NY

God, there is so much more. It's endless. I want to thank you for being there for my coming of age years. There is no one else I would've rather grown up with. We partied, fell in love, had kids. Now look at us. We're still young and crazy. I miss my partner in crime. Tell Gary he better appreciate you because you were my wife first. I LOVE YOU LADY. The miles cannot seperate us forever.

MEN ARE SLOW

So sorry I didn't write yesterday. I ended up going home sick and slept for hours. I still feel yucky. I think it has something to do with the weather going back and forth. I thought of calling out today but I only have like 2 days of PTO left, which I should probably save. With that said, I would like to discuss men and fires. Last week we had a party, as I mentioned in a previous post. It was pretty cool. I would say about 20 people showed up. My husband decided to make a fire pit in the back yard so he could burn shit, of course. So when my friend shows up with her 11yr. old daughter, she is the first one wanting to start a big fire. She is such a tomboy. A cute one though. It all starts out tamely enough. They throw some pallets on the fire and random pieces of wood. As the evening progresses the pieces of wood get bigger and bigger. This seems to coincide with the alcohol consumption, strangely enough. Then they start going out into the woods and finding fallen trees the size of telephone poles and throwing them on the fire. At this point I am getting rather concerned and pull my husband aside to tell him to chill out on the fire action. Of course he's drunk so he doesn't see any problem. Then my friend Melissa comes up to me and whispers that she heard rumblings of getting the chainsaw. OK, so now I'm getting really worried. Pretty soon they'll start cutting up the furniture to throw in the fire. Again, I pull my husband aside and beg him not to let the chainsaw come out. He assures me that will not happen. All his friends are eggin' him on and saying it won't be a problem. Then they come up with the bright idea to get an axe. All I can think of is my husband chopping off a limb. Good thing we got that Accidental Death and Dismemberment Insurance. But still, he would be whining 24/7 if he lost a limb, so I probably should put a stop to this too. But no, he will have none of it. He takes out the axe and throws a few wobbly swings. Ok, time to step in. I declare that the only one who can use the axe is his friend who quite drinking. And of course to prove his manliness he takes the axe from my husband and swings and swings until he cuts up the huge tree. I express my happiness with his sobriety and how great it is to have a sober person on hand. He disagrees as he rubs his shoulder. The fire grows and grows along with my stress. I decide to go inside with my friend Bekka and eat bean salad.

Afterward

The house still stands. The field did not burn down. Hangovers prevailed.

WTF?

This is a tribute to my dear friend Ja, who sent me

and all of my friends this fabulous email. I rarely hear the word "fuck" come out of her mouth but she managed to use it 3 times here. Good one guy!! Anywho, let me tackle the first question.

What the fuck is up with blogs? Blogs are for people who have way too much time on their hands at work. There are many forms of blogs. There is my favorite, the Celebrity Gossip Blog, there is the Obsessive Blog dealing with things like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, then there is the Rant and Rave Blog, which would be me. Of course there are tons more but that would take all day.

What exactly is a fucking blog? A blog is a place on the Internet were people share their thoughts, ideas, blah, blah. I pretty much covered that in the first question anyway.

Why the fuck r u starting one? Oh dear. I covered this as well on my very first post but since some people are too lazy to read it then I will say it again. I started one because I do not talk to or see my friends enough and this is a good way to keep them up to date on my life.

Now then. I certainly do hope that explains it for you, little one who must be living under a rock. An entire new world has been opened to you. Next you can work on your emailing skills.

LOVE YOU BABE. XOXO.

MAINE ROLLER DERBY

This Saturday is our first Bout at the Portland Expo. This is such a huge deal because it will be our first bout in Portland and the Expo is HUGE. I guess there's a Seadogs playoff game the same day, same time. This should be very interesting. Parking will be nuts and people will be everywhere. So this is my 3rd Bout (watching, not playing). I am getting so frustrated. I can't wait until I can play. I've been skating 7 months now and my skills have improved immensely, especially considering I couldn't skate at all in the beginning. I know I still have so much to learn strategy wise but I am getting so restless I feel like I am going to jump outta my skin. I have never really cared about sports before. For some reason Roller Derby has me hooked. I love the challenge and the contact aspect. Hopefully next season I will be playing. Vivala SLAM needs to hit some bitches.

Gimme More

Awww Geez. I said I was going to write everyday (except for the weekends) so I guess I should get on it. All I can say is that I am so happy it is Friday. Praise the Lord and all that. The news of the day seems to be Britney Spears and her comeback. I swear to God I never cared about this girl until she started going crazy. I can't imagine being followed around 24/7 though. That would make me go crazy too. Anywho, she has just released three new songs and the reviews seem to be good so far. What a way to put K-Fed in his place. He is such a scrub. I can't believe he is suing for custody when he partied his way through both of her pregnancies. Men are such idiots sometimes. He just wants more $$$. Although, as we know, Miss Britters can be an idiot too. I almost died when she was being interviewed by Matt Lauer and he asked her about driving with the baby on her lap and she said, "That's just how we are. We country". I feel disgusted with myself for talking about this all in such detail but it just goes to show ANYONE can be famous and look good. All it takes is a good makeup artist and some airbrushing. Or, for people like myself who are just naturally gorgeous, you just wake up and brush your teeth. I kid. I kid. So I had to put up this picture (courtesy of PerezHilton) of Britney because it is so funny. She looks like a white MC Hammer. Seriously though, it's fine to diss people but when you start talking bout their parenting skills one better know what the shiz they talkin' about. And how can K-Fed think he's the better parent after leaving his 6 month pregnant girlfriend for the money train. For realz though. Did you know that fool is from Fresno? Anyone who's from Cali knows what I'm sayin'. Oh God, I need to stop this. I am so sorry guys. I promise not to do this too often, but it's fun!! It makes my life look so normal. Well, I guess it kinda is, now anyway. OMG!! I'm normal. Shit!

People I Love

So, you know how I said that I was going to make this blog for my peeps? Well I have decided to do little dedications to everyone I love and miss. If you're not first don't be mad. I love you all. Also, I hope that you don't get mad that I am putting you out there in cyberspace. If you want me to take down a post just let me know. With that being said I would like to begin.


Stacey
How do I count the ways I love you girl? We never talk anymore. I hope you are well. I mean really, I do. Who are you now? Who have you become? Do you remember?

*Hangin out at the police station after we got robbed.
*Chillin' with Souls of Mischief and Dante. HAHAHA.
*Drinking 40's in the park.
*Riding in the taxi in Jamaica with all the baby chickens.
*Astra trying to beat up the hippies for throwing snowballs at us.
*Saving me when I was in Jamaica. Thank you!!

I really do miss you. You have always been such an awesome friend. You always remember birthdays, Christmas, Mother Day, Geesh.....You make me look so bad. I try though. You have come to every single place I have lived!! You are the only one!! You are a true Gem woman. I know you are a friggin' awesome Mom too. I hope you see this and know that I think of you all the time.

Please Shoot Me

I hate my job. These people drive me crazy. What is wrong with them? How hard is it to read a GD letter for God Sakes? I spent like $30,000.oo on my friggin' Bachelor's Degree and this is what I get in return. Whoever said that it pays to go to college was on crack, or related to George Bush and just trying to get more money out of us poor a-holes. Ahhh, my eyes hurt from staring at the computer for hours and the phone won't stop ringing. Thank you for calling, this is Nicole, how may I help you? How may I stab my eyeballs out?

I cannot wait until this weekend. Party on Saturday and 4 day weekend. Yesiree!! I don't care if 5 people show up to my party. I will get so stupid drunk they will have to pull me off the lawn with duck tape. I have derby practice on Sunday so I will be nice and hungover for that. Uhhgg!! At least I will sweat all the alcohol out of my system.

First Post For My Peeps

OK Dudes,

This blog is really made for all of my peeps that I don't keep in touch with but should. Here you can keep up with all that is going on with me and let me know what up with you. First of all, I must say I am so bad at writing and calling and all that, but I love you all so much and you know who you is. As most of you know I have been obsessed with the Roller Derby and skate 24/7. Well not really that much but a lot. We just had our assessments and I did not pass to scrimmage level. Sad Face. Anywho, what's a girl to do, huh? I just recently went back to working full time and will hopefully be working from home soon. Slamito (Nevan) is awesome. He's so friggin' cute I want to kiss him all the time. So in the future I will post about life and bitch and complain. Ya'll know me anyway, so you know how I am. Wink.

Love you and be in touch soon.