MY BRUISED BUM

Oh my, oh my, my bum diddly bum. I was at our last bout hanging outside with Maulie McKillem and she was telling me about a bruise she had on her butt. Like an idiot, I say, "I haven't had a butt bruise in a while. I think my butt must have calloused up". Then, of course, the very same day I fall flat on my ass while skating around like a mad woman selling raffle tickets. I didn't really realize how bad it was until I decided to take a peak. OMG!!! This friggin' bruise takes up my entire right butt cheek. I have never seen anything like it in my life. And it hurts so much. I have to sit at a desk all day for work and I just don't know what to do with the butt cheek. I readjust the pillow, move my butt around, change positions, cry....This was a week ago and it still kills. I think Maulie put a curse on me. Damn her.

In more exciting news, I finally got my new skates and I LOVE THE SHIT OUTTA THEM!!! You have no idea. I almost kissed the UPS guy when he showed up. I did kiss my skates though, And so did Slamito. He cried when I tried to take them away from him. When I gave him my old skates to play with he was totally not interested. Who can blame him? Right before I got my new fabulous skates, I was skating at the crappy Westbrook outdoor rink and my friggin' truck just popped right out of my skate. I could not believe it. I was like, this is just not supposed to happen. GEEZ!!

Well, I am out. Just so ya know, that is not my butt up there. I took a picture with my cell phone but can't figure out how to upload pics. But that is what mine looks like but worse. Until next time. VLS XOXOXO