ROLLERCON THE TRILOGY

*KISS AT HARD ROCK CAFE

DAY ONE

I step out of my blissfully air conditioned hotel room to be molested by a wave of heat. I almost turn around and go right back in my room but the knowledge of what's waiting for me keeps me moving. Ok, first stop, registration. First off I must say that the Imperial Palace is one big maze and the fact that I found registration in under 20 minutes is beyond amazing. I approach a corridor filled with derby girls of all different shapes, sizes, accents, and hair styles. Plain and simple, it is a derby girls dream. I pull out my USARS and ID and I am promptly handed a bright orange RollerCon sticker and told to put it on my helmet. DONE!

Next stop: Back to my room, if I can ever find it, to get my skate gear for the next skate workshop. Where the fuck is my room? I wander endlessly. Soon it's almost 1:30pm and I locate the piece of crap and gather all my gear for some beatings from Bonnie D. Stroir. For those of you not knowing, Bonnie is one ill ass skater. She is the founder of the San Diego Derby Dolls and to take a class with her was more than I could have hoped for. The lesson for the day was Tricky Whips and a lot of backwards skating. I loved it and learned some sneakiness that I will use on you one day. All of the girls skating were loving it and falling all over the place. It was too awesome.

After class I was beat from the heat and decided to try to find my room, AGAIN!! Ten years later I dropped my gear off and decided to try to find someone with some authority. Word had been spreading that our challenge bout had been rescheduled for who knows when or where. By the time I got to the lobby I was so beat I decided to sit in a comfy seat by the bar and treat myself to a Margarita. Relaxation, finally. Oddly enough a posse of the girls from my team, TEAM MILF, all ended up in the same bar and we took over for a while. The word on the street was that our challenge against the Birth Control Betties had been rescheduled for the following day at 12:30pm. Fine, whatever, what was my next move. Hmmnnn...

After some pondering and finishing my drink I decided to head for Iron Horse Tattoo and get some ink. I decided on a flying roller skate designed by "Sexy Rick" (seriously, that is what his card says), who is not too sexy but super nice. Chris is the true sexiness but we will have to get into that later as that is an entire different story. Moving on. For some obscene reason I thought it would be an awesome idea to walk all the way back to the hotel. DUMB!!! The heat must have gone to my head because the strip looked close but it was just a mirage, and I'm no talking about the Hotel.

At the room again and I decide to take a bath because my shin splints are killing me from walking 50 million miles in 110 degree heat. God I'ma dumbass. After my bath and some lie down time I pick myself up again and head down to the bar. The minute I get down there I run into my Mamas from back in the day, JO MAMA of Jo Show Promotions and a retired Derby Doll. Anyone who has had the pleasure of meeting Jo Mama knows she is completely off the friggin' chain. From the moment I saw her it was pure chaos. Jo Mama and I go WAY back. We use to tour with the Grateful Dead and then she lived in my apartment in San Francisco for awhile. So she's introducing me to everyone and their Mother as friggin' Blossom from Dead Tour. I swear I wanted to kick her ass so bad. Then, let's not forget dear little Pippy, Jo Show's BFF but I stole her and now she's my BFF. She tried to corrupt me all night but I was good and went to bed by 2am. Oh dear. Stay tuned for day 2.