NEW SKATES, NEW SKATES, NEW SKATES

Yes, it's true, Slam has finally ordered new skates. YIPEE!!! My skates I have now are so wrecked. I bought them when I first started skating and they were the cheapest pair I could find. Oh my beloved Boxers, what a love hate relationship we have had. First you didn't fit because you only came in full sizes and I'm a half size. So I stuffed the right skate with tissue paper and wore extra socks. Then the crappy wheels you came with made me slide all over the place. And then came Westbrook, and you tried so hard but you were no competition for the asphalt and broken glass. Neither was I for that matter. Then a funny thing happened, I became attached to you. You are like my favorite pair of sneakers. Even though you are old, ugly and beat up, you are comfortable and we've been through so much together. Don't worry, when my new skates come I will not throw you out into the cold. We will still be friends and I will look upon you with fondness. I will even use you from time to time when I don't want to ruin my new skates. With that said, I await my shiny new Riedell Vandals.

MUST KICK BUTT!! ALL RIGHT!

As we all can see the posting everyday thing has gone out the window. Please don't hate me. I have been so busy. We had another bout at the Expo this weekend and this time we played PVRD. These girls were so friggin' awesome. I picked up Andy Nihialate, one of the team's jammers, the night before at Geno's. Her boyfriend's band the Prozacs were playing there. Andy and I got along like we had known eachother forever. I guess having sons the same age helps. Nevan automatically liked her and she was so awesome with him. I wish she lived here. She was so cute when she was skating. Every time she fell she would pull her skirt down before starting to skate again. Andy really is a great jammer. Obviously, MRD has amazing jammers too. You all know who you are. We won again this time and the crowd loved it.

OMG!! So we have assessments again today and I swear to God I am freaking out. I always get like this on assessment day. My palms are sweaty, my heart is pounding and I have massive butterflies in my stomach. AHHH!!! Skating is so important to me and I really want to move up. I hate not playing. I am such an overachiever sometimes that I live on other people's validation of my achievements, and when I don't get it I get sooo devastated. Yes, I am a headcase. So my friends, cross your fingers for me and wish me luck.

XOXO

~SLAM

JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY

Well here it is, another Monday, and your protagonist is hard at work from home. YEAH!! I finally got all set up to work from home and it is going well. The weekend was a blast too. Melissa had a potluck at her house and everyone brought so much friggin' food. It was crazy and yummy. I'm still eating leftovers. We got pretty wasted and headed over to this bar on Munjoy Hill that used to be Bottomz Up. My husband and I use to go there all the time back in the day and then they closed down because people kept getting stabbed and shit. I'm not kidding either. So now it's this totally swanky bar, and of course I forgot what it's called. We had a killer time, and it was me, Ja, Melis, and Gretchen, just like old times. We stayed up pretty late just blabbing and talking about sex and all that good stuff. Ja has it all on videotape and I'm pretty scared about that. At the time it was hysterical to watch ourselves and the retarded things we said, but now, I'm not so sure. Woke up Sunday thinking I would want to die but actually it ended up being an awesome day. Nevan and I hung outside with Gideon while he built a fence. Nevan was so friggin' cute. I brought all of his tools outside so that he could work with Daddy and he was hammering away. What a riot! God, the day was just too beautiful. We were having so much fun I ditched derby practice and we all went for our own workout. I strapped on my skates, put Nevan in the stroller and Gideon jogged next to us. There are all of these crazy developments around, so we just drove to the closest one and cruised all over. It was so much fun. I like to skate at practice but I also love just skating outside without doing any drills or feeling like I might throw up. So after that we made our way home and ate pizza!! I'm so hungry right now. I should stop talking about food. So my chicas and homeys, talk to you soon. P Out.

Letter to the President

So I heard this song for the first time today on the radio today. I didn't know who it was by and then realized it was Rustic Overtones. For those of you who don't know, Rustic Overtones is a group from Maine, that enjoyed much success and recently reunited. So I hear this song on my way to work and by the time I get to work I swear I am in tears. If you want to see the lyrics here is the link. The song is another ode to the President to bring our troops home. It starts out with a soldier from the 82nd Airborne division talking about his family and how he hopes to see them one day. I do not know if this soldier is fictitious or based on a true person. After doing some research on the Internet I found an interesting article, written by members of the The 82nd Airborne Division, in the NY Times. The article is titled The War as We Saw It and it goes on to criticize our mission in Iraq and outline it's complexities and failures. Ultimately these brave soldiers end by stating that the only way to end this is to withdraw from Iraq, for the sake of the Iraqis. I have held a special interest in Iraq for quite some time now and have a website dedicated to Iraq prior to our invasion. Even then they were suffering at our hands. I could go on and on about all of the reasons we should not be in Iraq but we all know these already. It is useless and depressing to beat this dead horse. I just don't understand why we are supposedly defending the US and yet Osama (who was trained by the US, in the US) is still at large and so many of our soldiers are dead. God, to think of all the children who will grow up never knowing there parents, all the families split up and destroyed, for what? Bush and his ulterior motives. He thinks we are stupid and apparently we are because not only did we elect him once, but we elected him again. What the F@%* is wrong with this country? People living on fear. That is what he counted on anyway, and it worked. Do we not realize that this is how people live in so many countries? Sudan, Sierra Leon, Palestine, Croatia, Serbia, and the list goes on. We do not live in a bubble. When you piss people of they retaliate. Well guess what people, we have pissed off plenty of people and the Islamic Extremists are just the beginning. War will not solve our problems, diplomacy will. But what does George Bush know of diplomacy or Foreign Relations? He is probably one of those people who thinks Africa is a country. Or that they speak Mexican in Mexico. Is ignorance really bliss? Well my friends, I did not intend on going on such a tirade, and believe me I could go on longer. I guess I just have to sigh and wait until 2009. I swear to God, if we get another friggin' Republican in office I will have to disown all of the Republicans in my family. Hopefully my Mom forgets to remind my Dad about his absentee ballot again. HAHAHAHA!!

VIVA LA MAINE ROLLER DERBY

disclaimer: The above photo is not from the Sept. 8th bout.

Our first Bout at the Expo went better than any of us could have expected. I think the best part was the actual game itself. The Hudson Valley Horrors definitely gave MRD a run for our money. I was on the sidelines totally captivated by my teammates and their prowess. I seriously don't even know were to begin, and anyone who does not really know the rules of Derby may be confused.

Our jammers (point scorers) totally rocked the spot. Olive Spankins, JonesN, Breezy and Killer Quick were absolutely amazing. They seriously skated their hearts out. And let me tell you, HVH ain't no joke, they were out for blood. So many times I thought they would damage our little Unicorn Olive but she weaved in and out with ease. They all made it look so easy. I have to give it up for our blockers too. The Mom Bomb took out one of HVH's jammers with a killer hit, sending her flying off the track. I was also very impressed by Olive's blocking skills. Olive, who usually Jams, pretty much single handedly blocked one of HVH's jammers. Her legs seemed to go all the way across the track.

The most interesting thing to see in action was the WFTDA (Woman's Flat Track Derby Association) rules played out on the track. One jam we had to skate without a jammer because she was not in formation in time. I almost cried as the opposing jammer skated around and around scoring points. Another thing I saw for the first time was the "passing of the star". The passing of the star is when the jammer decides to pass her helmet cover to her pivot, while skating. The pivot then assumes the role of jammer. I am not sure why she did this, but it was cool to see, nonetheless. Hudson Valley had some really great jammers too. I wish I could remember their names, but alas I don't.

Maine Roller Derby made history by winning the game 115 to 90. This Bout had all the great aspects of Roller Derby; action, drama, suspense, and most importantly, bleachers full of fans.

VIVA LA MRD!!!!

PEOPLE I LOVE

NICOLE

There are no words to express the love I have for my friend Nicole (and no I'm not talking about myself). I swear we were separated at birth or something. I have never had a friend that I was so totally in tune with. We even pee at the same time. I know, all girls do, but she is the only girl who pees as much as I do. Nicole and I have been separated for 9 years now. It sucks, sucks, sucks. We use to drink Franzia from the box and watch 90210, and that was all we needed to make us happy.

It was Roberta, from Panama, who brought us together, but once the Nicole's were squared Roberta could not handle the bond. She tried to split us up and when that didn't work she tried to kill us. Well, not really kill us, but she stalked us and made our lives miserable. Finally the Nicole's put an end to her antics by throwing her stereo out the window and changing the locks. She did still make an appearance from time to time, that is until the Slashets beat her ass. HAHAHAHA!! This is Frisco BITCH!! I will always hold that moment close to my heart. Anyway, I digress. So Nicole, here goes:

DO YOU REMEMBER?

-Hinka (not as good without the face).

-"I'm gettin' outta here as fast as I can", as Cyrus climbs out the window.

-Throwing punches at the "hip hop" party, poor Dan.

-Raving with the statues in LA

-Screaming in the rain on Haight St. while carrying a bed we found on the street

-Letting your pants fall down as we walked down Market St.

-Me crying when I saw you and Gary for the first time in NY

God, there is so much more. It's endless. I want to thank you for being there for my coming of age years. There is no one else I would've rather grown up with. We partied, fell in love, had kids. Now look at us. We're still young and crazy. I miss my partner in crime. Tell Gary he better appreciate you because you were my wife first. I LOVE YOU LADY. The miles cannot seperate us forever.

MEN ARE SLOW

So sorry I didn't write yesterday. I ended up going home sick and slept for hours. I still feel yucky. I think it has something to do with the weather going back and forth. I thought of calling out today but I only have like 2 days of PTO left, which I should probably save. With that said, I would like to discuss men and fires. Last week we had a party, as I mentioned in a previous post. It was pretty cool. I would say about 20 people showed up. My husband decided to make a fire pit in the back yard so he could burn shit, of course. So when my friend shows up with her 11yr. old daughter, she is the first one wanting to start a big fire. She is such a tomboy. A cute one though. It all starts out tamely enough. They throw some pallets on the fire and random pieces of wood. As the evening progresses the pieces of wood get bigger and bigger. This seems to coincide with the alcohol consumption, strangely enough. Then they start going out into the woods and finding fallen trees the size of telephone poles and throwing them on the fire. At this point I am getting rather concerned and pull my husband aside to tell him to chill out on the fire action. Of course he's drunk so he doesn't see any problem. Then my friend Melissa comes up to me and whispers that she heard rumblings of getting the chainsaw. OK, so now I'm getting really worried. Pretty soon they'll start cutting up the furniture to throw in the fire. Again, I pull my husband aside and beg him not to let the chainsaw come out. He assures me that will not happen. All his friends are eggin' him on and saying it won't be a problem. Then they come up with the bright idea to get an axe. All I can think of is my husband chopping off a limb. Good thing we got that Accidental Death and Dismemberment Insurance. But still, he would be whining 24/7 if he lost a limb, so I probably should put a stop to this too. But no, he will have none of it. He takes out the axe and throws a few wobbly swings. Ok, time to step in. I declare that the only one who can use the axe is his friend who quite drinking. And of course to prove his manliness he takes the axe from my husband and swings and swings until he cuts up the huge tree. I express my happiness with his sobriety and how great it is to have a sober person on hand. He disagrees as he rubs his shoulder. The fire grows and grows along with my stress. I decide to go inside with my friend Bekka and eat bean salad.

Afterward

The house still stands. The field did not burn down. Hangovers prevailed.

WTF?

This is a tribute to my dear friend Ja, who sent me

and all of my friends this fabulous email. I rarely hear the word "fuck" come out of her mouth but she managed to use it 3 times here. Good one guy!! Anywho, let me tackle the first question.

What the fuck is up with blogs? Blogs are for people who have way too much time on their hands at work. There are many forms of blogs. There is my favorite, the Celebrity Gossip Blog, there is the Obsessive Blog dealing with things like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, then there is the Rant and Rave Blog, which would be me. Of course there are tons more but that would take all day.

What exactly is a fucking blog? A blog is a place on the Internet were people share their thoughts, ideas, blah, blah. I pretty much covered that in the first question anyway.

Why the fuck r u starting one? Oh dear. I covered this as well on my very first post but since some people are too lazy to read it then I will say it again. I started one because I do not talk to or see my friends enough and this is a good way to keep them up to date on my life.

Now then. I certainly do hope that explains it for you, little one who must be living under a rock. An entire new world has been opened to you. Next you can work on your emailing skills.

LOVE YOU BABE. XOXO.

MAINE ROLLER DERBY

This Saturday is our first Bout at the Portland Expo. This is such a huge deal because it will be our first bout in Portland and the Expo is HUGE. I guess there's a Seadogs playoff game the same day, same time. This should be very interesting. Parking will be nuts and people will be everywhere. So this is my 3rd Bout (watching, not playing). I am getting so frustrated. I can't wait until I can play. I've been skating 7 months now and my skills have improved immensely, especially considering I couldn't skate at all in the beginning. I know I still have so much to learn strategy wise but I am getting so restless I feel like I am going to jump outta my skin. I have never really cared about sports before. For some reason Roller Derby has me hooked. I love the challenge and the contact aspect. Hopefully next season I will be playing. Vivala SLAM needs to hit some bitches.